Nip/Tuck: Carver Blog Post - "My Mask"
Via The Carver's Blog
Saturday, December 17, 2005
1:15 PM - My Mask
Current mood: generous
I am on a holy quest. A quest for true equality. A quest for the expression of godliness in every person regardless of their race, creed, religion or sexual orientation. We are instinctively drawn to those that look like us, or worse yet, those that look like we wish to look. Both are lies. Neither is a true expression of who any of us are. I wear a mask not to hide my identity – but to make sure that I am seen. See my face and you know nothing of me. See my face and you see what you want to see – you compare, contrast – “Is she prettier than I am? Is his jawline more defined?” See my face and you see my mask. See my mask and you see me, see my message, see what I stand for, see my story. My life is pain, hate, fear. My mask speaks to that life. My mask is a gift to the world. My mask is an act of grand generosity. It does not hide as the face does. What face tells the truth anymore? What face filled with botox and collagen, covered in self-tanner and anti-wrinkle cream is anything but the manifestation of the selfishness of the modern world? The masses cry out – “Give me Jennifer Garner’s nose! Give me Jennifer Lopez’ ass! Do not make me “as” beautiful as they are – simply make me “as” they are – for those I worship are nothing save for how they look and I am nothing if I do not look as they do. Perhaps if we appear to be the same I will feel as they feel, I will consume what they consume, I will become what they have become. Anything to lose who I truly am. Anything to not have to look into the face that was gifted to me. Lie to me, cheat me, tell me what I need to hear, just don’t look at me.” All I want is for people to look as they feel. To be the same inside and out. I wear my mask because even I, an enlightened one have lost the use of my face. It is just like the rest, a façade, an eminence front, a put on. I give people masks of their own, gift their cheeks with honesty. I must admit, sometimes when I see them in their humility, in their humanity, I am overcome and I must join with them, but even great ones cannot help but be drawn into the holy light of an illuminated soul. Why do we elevate as heroes the cowards who claim to be champions of equality, yet do nothing to demonstrate what true equality looks like? I am the only one who can destroy society’s masks. I am the only one with the courage, insight and strength to tear off the masks and expose the raw, pink, unsoiled flesh within. Do not ask me to remove my mask – I already have.